The Art Of Communicating

Book Summary

पुस्तक ः दी आर्ट अफ कम्युनिकेटिङ (सञ्चारका कला)
लेखक ः थिक, नाट हान
अन्य पुस्तक ः ‘पिस इज एभ्री स्टेप’, ‘नो डेथ, नो फियर’, ‘लिभिङ बुद्ध, लिभिङ क्राइस्ट’, फ्राग्रान्ट पाम लिभ्स’, ‘बिइङ पिस’, ‘फर अ फ्युचर टु बी पसिबल’, ‘द हर्ट अफ बुद्धज टिचिङ’, ‘द हार्ट अफ अन्डरस्ट्यान्डिङ’, ‘द लङ टर्न टु ज्वाय’, ‘लभ इन याक्सन’, ‘द माइ¥याकल अफ माइन्डफुलनेस’, ‘ओल्ड पाथ, ह्वाइट क्लाउड्स’, ‘याङ्गर’, ‘ट्रु लभ’, ‘आर्ट अफ पावर’, ‘सेभर’, ‘पिस इज एभ्री ब्रेथ’, ‘द नोभिस’, ‘फियर’
प्रकाशन ः हार्परवन
पृष्ठ ः १७६
प्रतिलिपि अधिकार ः २०१३, युनिफाइड बुद्धिस्ट चर्च
भियतनामी बौद्ध जेन गुरु, कवि, अध्येता तथा शान्ति कार्यकर्ता थिक नाट हान आफ्ना ध्यान केन्द्र पाम भिलेजमा बस्नुहुन्छ । अन्य पुस्तक सहित ‘दी आर्ट अफ कम्युनिकेटिङ’ (सञ्चारको कला) सचेत स्वासप्रस्वासका माध्यमबाट सञ्चार सिकाउने गरी तयार गरिएको छ । यस पुस्तकमा नौ परिच्छेद छन् ।
पहिलो परिच्छेद – ‘अत्यावश्यक खाना’ मा उहाँले सञ्चारलाई खानाको एक भागको रूपमा हेर्नुभएको छ । उहाँ भन्नुहुन्छ ः पौष्टिकता मुखबाट मात्र लिइँदैन, आँखा, कान, नाक, जिब्रो तथा शरीरबाट पनि उपभोग गरिन्छ । जब हामी केही भन्छौँ त्यसले हामी र हाम्रा वरपर रहेकालाई पोषण गर्छ र माथि उठाउँछ, हामी मायाँ र करुणा खुवाइरहेका हुन्छौँ । जब हामी तनाव र क्रोध दिने गरी बोल्छौँ र काम गर्छौं, हामी हिंसा र पीडा खुवाइरहेका हुन्छौँ । उहाँले उपभोग गर्दा पनि सचेतना साथ गर्न सल्लाह दिनुभएको छ । सचेत हुन अनुमान गर्न छोड्नुपर्छ र स्वासप्रस्वास तथा शरीरप्रति चेतानामा फर्कनुपर्छ । यसले तपाईंको ध्यान आफू र आफू वरपर भएका कुराप्रति फर्काउँछ ।
दोस्रो परिच्छेद – ‘आफैँसँग सञ्चार’ मा गुरु हानले एक्लोपना हाम्रो समयको पीडा हो र हामी अरुबाट घेरिए पनि निकै एक्लो अनुभव गर्नसक्छौँ भनी दाबी गर्नुभएको छ । हामीभित्र रित्तोपना छ । यसले हामीलाई असजिलो बनाउँछ र हामी अन्य व्यक्तिसँग जोडिएर यसलाई भर्न प्रयास गर्छौं । जोडिन सकियो भने एक्लोपनाको अनुभव हराउँछ भनी हामी विश्वास गर्छौं । प्रविधिले हामीलाई जोडिन अनेकौँ उपकरण दिएको छ । हामी जोडिए पनि निरन्तर एक्लो अनुभव गर्छौं ।
उहाँ भन्नुहुन्छ ः रोकिएर आफैँसँग सञ्चार गर्नु क्रान्तिकारी कार्य हो । हामीले जे कुरा गरिरहे पनि रोकिएर, बसेर आफूसँग जोडिएर यो काम आरम्भ गर्छौं । हामीले केबल बस्नुपर्छ र सास लिनु र फ्याक्नुपर्छ । यसका केही समयमै हामी आफैँसँग जोडिन्छौँ । हाम्रा शरीर, अनुभव, भावना र धारणामा के भइरहेछ भनी हामी थाहा पाउँछौँ । तपाईंलाई कसरी स्वासप्रस्वास गर्ने भन्ने थाहा भएपछि तपाईं सचेत रूपमा कसरी हिँड्ने, बस्ने, खाने र काम गर्ने भन्ने सिक्नुहुन्छ र तपाईं आफैँलाई चिन्न थाल्नुहुन्छ । सास फाल्दा तपाईं तनाव फाल्नुहुन्छ ।
सचेत स्वासप्रस्वास आफ्नो स्वासप्रस्वासप्रति ध्यान दिने र नबोलिकनै ‘साल लिँदा, मलाई थाहा छ म सास लिइरहेको छु, सास छोड्दा मलाईं थाहा छ म सास छोडिरहेको छु’ भनी आफैँलाई सम्झाउने सञ्चारको माध्यम हो । हामी भन्न सक्छौँ ः सास मेरो शरीर भित्र प्रवेश गरिरहेको छ । सास मेरो शरीरबाट बाहिर गइरहेको छ । सास लिने र छोडने कार्य स्वतन्त्रताको अभ्यास हो । जब हामी स्वासप्रस्वासमा ध्यान ध्यान केन्द्रित गर्छौं हामी सबै कुरा छोड्छौँ र त्यसमा चिन्ता वा भविष्यप्रतिको त्रास र खेद वा विगतप्रति दुःख पनि पर्छन् ।
तर आफैँसँग सञ्चार गर्न हामीले नसोच्ने तथा नबोल्ने अभ्यास गर्नुपर्छ । सचेतपनाले भित्रको पीडा, दुःख तथा त्रास सुन्न दिन्छ । शान्त भएर नसोच्ने र नबोल्ने अवस्थाले हामीलाई वास्तवमै आफैँलाई सुन्ने स्थान दिन्छ । हामी घर फर्कन्छौँ र सुन्छौँ । जब तपाईं बस्नुहुन्छ र सचेतनापूर्वक स्वासप्रस्वास गर्नुहुन्छ तपाईंको मस्तिष्क र शरीर एकापसमा सञ्चार गर्न थाल्छन् । स्वास लिँदा म मेरो शरीरप्रति सचेत हुन्छु । सास छोड्दा म मेरा शरीरका सबै तनाव छोडिदिन्छु । सचेत हिँडाइ शरीर र मस्तिष्कलाई एक ठाउँमा ल्याउने अनौठो तरिका हो । यसले तपाईंभन्दा बाहिर पोषण दिने र निको पार्ने कुरा पृथ्वीसँग सञ्चार गर्ने अवसर दिन्छ ।
हामीलाई थाहा छ हामीभित्रका पीडामा हाम्रा पिता, माता तथा हाम्रा पूर्वजका पीडा पनि रहेका हुन्छन् । हामीले पीडा बुझ्न सक्यौँ र त्यसलाई परिवर्तन गर्न सक्यौँ भने हामी हाम्रा मातापिता तथा पूर्वजलाई निको पार्ने काम गरिरहेका हुन्छौँ । हाम्रा पिडाले विश्वकै पीडालाई प्रतिविम्बित गर्छ । भेदभाव, शोषण, गरिबी तथा त्रासले हाम्रा वरिवर धेरै पीडा दिएका हुन्छन् । हाम्रा पीडाले अरुका पीडा पनि प्रतिविम्बित गर्छ । पीडा बुझ्दा सँधै करुणा आउँछ ।
तेस्रो परिच्छेद – ‘अरुसँग सञ्चारको साँचो’ मा गुरु हान भन्नुहुन्छ ः हामी जब कुनै व्यक्तिलाई उसको पीडा कम गर्ने चाहनाले सुन्छौँ तब त्यो गहिरो सुनाइ हुन्छ । जब हामी करुणापूर्वक सन्छौँ अनुमानमा रहँदैनौँ । मायाँको जग भनेको बुझाइ हो र त्यसको अर्थ पहिला त पीडा बुझ्नु हो । कुराइले गम्भीर नतिजा दिन्छ । मानिसले आफैँलाई एक्लो बनाउनसक्छन्, उनीहरूले एकाएक भित्रता वा सम्बन्ध तोड्नसक्छन् र उनीहरूले आत्महत्या पनि गर्नसक्छन् ।
हामी कुनै व्यक्तिसँग पाँच, दस वा बीस बर्ष सँगै बस्नसक्छौँ । तर तपाईंले त्यो व्यक्तिलाई बुझ्न गहिरो रूपमा नहेरेको हुनसक्छ । तपाईं सम्पूर्ण जीवन आफैँसँग बाँच्नु भएको छ तर हामी आफैँलाई आफ्नै बारेमा केही पनि थाहा नहुनसक्छ । जब तपाईं बोल्नु हुन्छ तब तपाईं अरुलाई आफ्ना र उनीहरूका पीडाको सत्य बताउन प्रयास गर्नहुन्छ । यो मायाँ गर्ने बोलाइ हो ।
बोधिसत्व भनेको एउटा ज्ञानोदय हो जसले आफ्नो जीवन सबै प्राणीका पीडा कम गर्न समर्पण गरेको छ । ज्ञानोदय सँधै कुनै कुराको ज्ञानोदय हुन्छ । यदि तपाईं आफ्नो पीडाको प्रकृति र जरा बुझ्न थाल्नुहुन्छ भने यो एक प्रकारको ज्ञानोदय हो र यसले तपाईंको पीडा कम गर्न सघाउँछ । तपाईंले बोद्धिसत्वका मार्ग पालना गर्नुपर्छ ः (१) सत्य बोल्नुहोस्, (२) बढाइचडाइ नगर्नुहोस्, (३) समान रहनुहोस् र (४) शान्तिपूर्ण भाषा प्रयोग गर्नुहोस् । यसका चार सर्त छन् ः (१) हामीले दुनियाँको भाषा बोल्नुपर्छ, (२) हामी भिन्न व्यक्तिसँग उनीहरूका सोचाइ र सिकाइलाई लिने उनीहरूको क्षमता प्रतिविम्बित गर्ने तरिकाले भिन्न प्रकारले बोल्नसक्छौँ, (३) व्यक्ति, समय तथा स्थानका आधारमा चिकित्सकले सही औषधि दिए झै हामी सही शिक्षा दिन्छौँ र (४) वास्तवविक सत्य प्रतिविम्बित गर्ने गरी हामी सिकाउँछौँ ।
परिच्छेद चारमा गुरु हानले मायाँयुक्त बोलाईका छ मत्र दिनुभएको छ ः (१) म यहाँ तपाईंका लागि छु । (२) मलाईं तपाईं त्यहाँ हुनुहुन्छ भन्ने थाहा छ र म निकै खुसी छु । (३) तपाईं पीडित हुनुहुन्छ भन्ने मलाई थाहा छ र म यहाँ तपाईंका लागि छु । (४) म पीडित छु, कृपया मद्दत गरिदिनुहोस् । (५) यो खुसीको समय हो । (६) तपाईं आंशिक रूपमा सही हुनुहुन्छ ।
परिच्छेद पाँच – ‘जब कठिनाइ आउँछन्’ मा उहाँले भन्नु भएको छ ः तपाईंका आमाबाबुका पीडा उनीहरूका आमाबाबुबाट आएका हुन् र तीभन्दा अगाडिका पूर्खाबाट उनीहरूमा आएका हुन् । तपाईंले आफ्नै पीडा नबुझ्दासम्म र आफैँलाई समायोजन नगरेसम्म ती भविष्यमा पुस्तामा हस्तान्तरण हुँदै जान्छन् ।
छैटौँ परिच्ेद – ‘काममा सचेतनापूर्वक सञ्चार’ मा गुरु हानले एउटा कविता लेख्नुभएको छ ः मेरा शब्दले आपसी समझदारी र मायाँ सिर्जना गर्न सकून । उनीहरू मणिजस्तै सुन्दर र फूल जस्तै मायालु हुनसकून् ।
सातौँ परिच्देद – ‘विश्वमा सञ्चार सिर्जना’ मा उहाँले भन्नुभएको छ ः हामीले ऊर्जालाई एकसाथ ल्याउँदा त्यो हजारौँ गुणामा वृद्धि हुन्छ । समुदायको ऊर्जा नभएसम्म प्रणालीगत परिवर्तन गर्न सकिन्न । शान्त भएर बस्नु आफ्नै पीडा सुन्ने र विश्वका पीडा सुन्ने अभ्यास हुनसक्छ । उहाँले चरा र माछा जस्ता समाजिक जनावरको व्यवहारमा वैज्ञानिक अध्ययनका उदाहरण दिनुभएको छ र सबै समुदायमा परोपकारिताको तत्व हुन्छ भन्नुभएको छ । समुदायका केही सदस्य समुदायका लागि आफ्नो जीवन बलिदान दिन वा मर्न तयार हुन्छन् ।
आठौँ परिच्छेद – ‘हाम्रा सञ्चार हाम्रा निरन्तरता हुन्’ मा उहाँले भन्नुभएको छ ः हाम्रा सञ्चार हामीले पृथ्वीमा छोड्ने र हामीले छोडे पनि रहने कुरा हुन । यसरी हाम्रो सञ्चार हाम्रा कर्म हुन् । हाम्रा विचार, बोलाइ र शरीरका कार्यको तेहरो कार्य कर्म हो । हाम्रा शरीर नरहे पनि हाम्रा सञ्चार हराउँदैनन् । हाम्रा सोचाइ, बोलाइ र शारीरिक कार्यका प्रभाव ब्रह्माण्डमा तरङ्गित भइरहन्छ ।
परिच्छेद नौ – ‘करुणपूर्वक सञ्चारका अभ्यास’ मा उहाँले चियाँ पिउँदा, आफैँभित्रका बालपनालाई सुन्दा, प्रेमपत्र लेख्दा, शान्ति सम्झौता गराउँदा वा शान्तिका टिप्पणी लेख्दाका उदाहरण दिनुभएको छ । उहाँले सचेतनापूर्वक अङ्कमालयुक्त ध्यानका अभ्यास गर्न पनि सल्लाह दिनुभएको छ ।


Khem's thought (Summary)

Book:                          The Art of Communicating

Author:                        Thich Nhat Hanh

Other book:                 Peace is Every Step; No Death, No Fear; Living Buddha, Living Christ; Fragrant Palm Leaves; Being Peace; For a Future to Be Possible; The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching; The Heart of Understanding; The Long Road Turns to Joy; Love in Action; The Miracle of Mindfulness; Old Path, White Clouds; Anger; True Love; Art of Power; Savor; Peace Is Every Breath; The Novice; Fear

Publication:                 HarperOne

Pages:                          176

Copyright ©                2013 by Unified Buddhist Church

 

Vietnamese Buddhist Zen master, poet, scholar, and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh lives in Plum Village, his meditation centre. Among other books, ‘The Art of Communicating’ is design to inculcate art of communicating through mindfull breathing technique. The book is devised with nine chapters.

In Chapter one – ‘Essential Food’, he has envisioned communication as a part of essential food. He states that nourishment is taken not only through our mouths, but also consumed by our eyes, ears, noses, tongues, and bodies. When we say something that nourishes us and uplifts the people around us, we are feeding love and compassion. When we speak and act in a way that causes tension and anger, we are nourishing violence and suffering. He suggests to consume with mindfulness. Mindfulness requires letting go of judgment, returning to an awareness of the breath and the body, and bringing your full attention to what is in you and around you.

In Chapter two – ‘Communicating with Yourself’, Master Hanh claims that loneliness is the suffering of our time and even if we are surrounded by others, we can feel very alone. There is a vacuum inside us. It makes us feel uncomfortable, so we try to fill it up by connecting with other people. We believe that if we’re able to connect, the feeling of loneliness will disappear. Technology supplies us with many devices to help us stay connected. But even when we’re connected, we continue to feel lonely.

He states that to stop and communicate with ourselves is a revolutionary act. We begin by just stopping whatever we’re doing, sitting down, and connecting with ourselves. This is called mindful awareness. We just need to sit down and breathe in and out. In just a few seconds, we can connect with ourselves. We know what is going on in our body, feelings, emotions, and perceptions. If you know how to breathe, you can learn how to walk, sit, eat, and work in mindfulness so that you can begin to know yourself. When you breathe out, you release any tension.

Mindful breathing is a means of communication to remind ourselves to pay attention to our breath and say silently: ‘Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in. Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.’ We can say: ‘The air is entering my body. The air is leaving my body.’ Breathing in and breathing out is a practice of freedom. When we focus our attention on our breath, we release everything else, including worries or fears about the future and regrets or sorrows about the past.

But to communicate with ourselves, we need to practice nonthinking and nontalking. Mindfulness lets us listen to the pain, the sorrow, and the fear inside. The quiet of nonthinking and nontalking gives us the space to truly listen to ourselves. We come back home and listen. When you sit and breathe mindfully, your mind and body finally get to communicate and come together. Breathing in, I’m aware of my body. Breathing out, I release all the tension in my body. Mindful walking is a wonderful way to bring together body and mind. It also allows you the additional opportunity to communicate with something outside yourself that is nourishing and healing: the earth.

We know that the suffering inside us contains the suffering of our fathers, our mothers, and our ancestors. If we are able to understand that suffering and thereby transform it, we are healing our parents and our ancestors as well as ourselves. Our suffering reflects the suffering of the world. Discrimination, exploitation, poverty, and fear cause a lot of suffering in those around us. Our suffering also reflects the suffering of others. Understanding suffering always brings compassion.

In Chapter three – ‘The Keys to Communicating with Others’, Monk Hanh says that when we listen to someone with the intention of helping that person suffer less, this is deep listening. When we listen with compassion, we don’t get caught in judgment. The foundation of love is understanding, and that means first of all understanding suffering. Waiting has serious consequences. People may isolate themselves, they may suddenly end a friendship or relationship, and they may even commit suicide.

You may have lived with someone for five, ten, or twenty years. But you may not have looked deeply into that person to understand him or her. You have lived with yourself your whole life but we may not know ourselves very well at all. When you speak, you try to tell others the truth about your suffering and their suffering, this is loving speech.

A bodhisattva is an enlightened being who has dedicated his or her life to alleviating the suffering of all living beings. Enlightenment is always enlightenment about something. If you begin to understand the nature and the root of your suffering, that is a kind of enlightenment, and it helps you suffer less right away. You have to follow the path of bodhisattva: (1) Tell the truth, (2) Do not exaggerate, (3) Be consistent, and (4) Use peaceful language. Here are the four criteria: (1) We have to speak the language of the world; (2) We may speak differently to different people, in a way that reflects how they think and their ability to receive the teaching; (3) We give the right teaching according to person, time, and place, just as a doctor prescribes the right medicine; and (4) We teach in a way that reflects the absolute truth.

In Chapter four – Master Hanh has prescribed ‘Six Mantras of Loving Speech’: (1) I am here for you; (2) I know you are there, and I am very happy; (3) I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you; (4) I suffer, please help; (5) This is a happy moment; and (6) You are partly right.

In Chapter five – ‘When Difficulties Arise’, he says that the suffering of your parents was passed down from their parents and from their ancestors before them. Unless you begin to understand your own suffering and reconcile with yourself, that suffering will continue to be passed down to future generations.

In Chapter six- ‘Mindful Communication at Work’, monk Hahn inscribes a poem: ‘May my words create mutual understanding and love. May they be as beautiful as gems, as lovely as flowers.

In Chapter seven – ‘Creating Community in the World’, he states that when we bring our energies together, they are increased a thousandfold. Systematic change can’t be achieved without the energy of community. Sitting together in silence can be a practice of listening to our own suffering and the suffering of the world. He provided example of scientific study on behavior of social animals, such as birds and fish, and stated that in every community there is an element of altruism; some members of the community are ready to die and sacrifice their lives for the sake of the community.

In chapter eight – ‘Our Communication Is Our Continuation’, he says, our communication is what we put out into the world and what remains after we have left it. In this way, our communication is our karma. Karma is the triple action of our thoughts, our speech, and our bodily actions. Our communications will not be lost when our physical bodies are no longer here. The effect of our thinking, speech, and physical actions will continue to ripple outward into the cosmos.

In chapter nine – ‘Practices for Compassionate Communication’, he provides examples of mindful communication in drinking tea, listening our inner child, writing a love letter, forging peace treaties and preparing peace notes. He further asks to have hugging meditation mindfully.

 

 


Message to the Author

Master Thich Nhat Hanh,

The Author of ‘The Art of Communicating’.

Thank you for providing us the art of communicating through mindfull breathing technique that can be extended to community and global level. You have suggested us that communication is a part of ‘Essential Food’ and shown how to consume with mindfulness without judgment but having awareness of the breath and the body.

You have claimed that to stop and communicate with ourselves is a revolutionary act. You have taught us that mindful breathing is a means of communication to remind ourselves to pay attention to our breath and say silently: ‘Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in. Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.’ To communicate with ourselves, we need to practice nonthinking and nontalking, which gives us the space to truly listen to ourselves by coming back home. Further, mindful walking is an additional opportunity to communicate outside us that is nourishing and healing the earth.

We know that the suffering inside us contains the suffering of our fathers, our mothers, and our ancestors and through your technique we can heal them as well as ourselves. You have shown us the way to see deeply into other person to understand him or her and ourselves. You have taught us that a bodhisattva is an enlightened being and enlightenment is always enlightenment about something. The path to bodhisattva: (1) Tell the truth, (2) Do not exaggerate, (3) Be consistent, and (4) Use peaceful language. ‘Six Mantras of Loving Speech’: (1) I am here for you; (2) I know you are there, and I am very happy; (3) I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you; (4) I suffer, please help; (5) This is a happy moment; and (6) You are partly right.

You have taught us to create community and extend our energy to the world by sitting together in silence and practicing to listen to our own suffering and the suffering of the world. Our communication is our karma and it is the triple action of our thoughts, speech, and bodily actions. The effect of our thinking, speech, and physical actions will continue to ripple outward into the cosmos. Thank you.

With best regards,

Khem Sharma.